Jai-fucking-ho - Swedes are hot and you're not

Don't you wish your boyfriend was hot like him...

So, no hockey for months, no draft - this is actually good... - only the free agent thingy that starts 1st of July will bring some hockey to us.
Though, hockey hasn't been very good to me since the upcoming Russians apparently sucks (only 7 drafted), Swedes are conquering America, Leafs went all Don Cherry and only drafted North American players and Caps traded Lepistö. Yeah, it's probably good for his career but Phoenix is so very far.
Oh, and most players I liked went to teams I hate, Fedorov goes to KHL, as does Kozlov and Captain Elbow will honour the Eastern Conference with his excistense next season and with my lucky screws my dreams of Olympic gold by elbowing the Russians in said conference back to Siberia.

Hockey is the reason that I breathe,
Hockey is the reason that I still believe,
It's my destiny,
Jai Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh!

So there is one possible good thing to come. There has been some rumours about Anaheim wanting to unite the golden Koivu-Selänne pair that has melt hearts all over in Finland during past years. I very much approve this.

More Draft pain - Sponsored by Ottawa and Tampa

Who the fuck gave Ottawa the right to draft "the hottest goalie in the draft"? I have only two reasons not to entirely hate the team and one of those reasons wants to get out of there. So no, this is NOT ok. I'm this close to start kicking puppies.

And Tampa... First Hedman, now the best name in the damn draft. Though "Panik" is very fitting considering the situation of the team. But still, I do not approve this. And you didn't even stop there. No, you just had to also pick Jaroslav Janus, also known as the guy who saved Slovakia's ass in the Juniors. Exactly how many goalies you need again?

The Swedish takeover? Well, it went all nice and smoothy except that they're mostly drafted by teams that totally suck and therefor will be making my life hell in the Worlds. Fun-bloody-tastic. Oh, and the Swedish free team known as Penguins decided to be all Red Wings and drafted Philip Samuelsson, who I believe is at least half Swedish.

Washington did partly good and drafted this Russian kid called Orlov. And some other guys. Unfortunately they also traded Sami Lepistö to Phoenix, which totally increased the level of love I feel for Coyotes. Damn you Caps.

And Selänne will continue his magnificent career with at least one more year with Anaheim and hopefully with Finnish national team in Vancouver.

Dear God why? - The draft pain

If he just would've knocked those to out by banging their heads together...

So, the dumb and dumber managed to figure out that they may need a defenseman and drafted Viktor Hedman. If you heard some screaming when they drafted him, don't worry, it was just Foppa expressing his unhappiness with this.

Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson (10th) is going to Edmonton, which is really unfortunate because now I won't hear the announcers killing their tongue while trying pronounce that. And because I hate Edmonton.
By the way Toronto, I blame you for this.

Robin Lehner wasn't drafted in the first round but that didn't stop the Swedish success - 7 of them where drafted, including Ekman-Larsson as 6th (Phoenix), David Rundblad as 17th (STL), Jacob Josefson as 20th (New Jersey) and Tim Erixon as 23rd (Calgary). The funny thing? I hate all of those teams Phoenix excluded.

At least one Swede ended up with a team I really like since the Capitals drafted a Swedish center (who would've guessed...) Marcus Johansson, who played last season in Elitserien in the same team with Monster (Färjestad).

"The hottest goalie in the NHL draft"

Why yes, I see no reason to disagree...

Ok seriously, I believe the headline (in Swedish) wasn't ment to be translated like that but hey, I'm still me...

In hockey wise, Robin Lehner likely to be the 1st or 2nd drafted goalie. He has said to be stronger than North American goalies and his father is (or was) Henrik Lundqvist's coach.

Also, the kid has some balls: "The draft itself doesn't have that big meaning." While I see the point of "the 2 upcoming years are the most important for me" thinking, I believe the 2 years will be mostly hell if he has to play for example behind the Tampa defense...

KHL gets Fedorov

Swedish sport site hockeykanalen.se reports that Sergei Fedorov, one of the greatest Russian player ever played, is going to play in Russia and signed a 2 year contract with Metallurg Magnitogorsk. This is the same team his little brother plays. I guess Metallurg wants to help Omsk with their mission...

Even though the 39 year old center didn't have the best possible season with 33 points and 50 penalty minutes in regular season, this quite likely is a loss to Capitals, especially if Nylander still won't fit the team.

More goalies to KHL/Omsk trying to empty NHL player by player

Tampa Bay goalie, Karri Rämö (RFA) will be playing in Russia next year. Avangard Omsk - the very same team with Jagr and potentially Nylander - has make their latest move to get all NHL team to secure KLH'a position as a seriously taken league.

Anyhoo, I assume the negotiation weren't that difficult.

Omsk: Hey Tampa, we want to have one of your players.
Tampa: We don't have any free forwards!
O: Chill out dude, we want a goalie...
T: Oh, ok then. Take what you want.

See, it's really simple.

To the Motherland...

Outdoor hockey in May?

Hell yes. The show offs Swedes are planning to have the 2013 Worlds final at the upcoming football stadium in Stockholm, right next to Globen (the real hockey arena).

Globen is the golf ball looking thing

Nice stadium, have to admid that. Nevertheless, having a hockey at football stadium is challenging and they know it. Especially in May when there's potentially over 20 celsius. But even if it was colder, they would have to change the surface etc. So it's all just planning at this moment. But it would be so very cool. Hope they can make it work.

(Picture from hockeyexpressen.se)

Bush - destroying lifes even when he's not President / Win my love edition

Bye bye baby, baby good bye...

How so, one might ask. Well, let me explain. It's really simple.

That missing link is obviously working for the evil, though failing powers of Dallas Stars and trying to get Jonas "Monster" Gustavsson to sign with the team. Those two met in the baseball game - seriously, you bring an European to a baseball game? - where Gustavsson was allowed/forced to throw the ceremonial ball and Bush was just hanging there without any good reason. Kinda like in the White House.

The problem for the Stars is that they want Gustavsson to be Turco's back up. And I'm rather sure that that is not what Monster has planned. That's also the problem for San Jose since Nabby is the number uno. Avs may don't have similar problem but the best thing about the club is Foppa's ghost and that won't help to steal the shiny Cup from Sid's bed. In Toronto, in the land of thousands lakes goalies, but no real #1 - ok, Toskala might have the job... - he would get a real chance to show what he got.

And my love? Gustavsson is apparerently in Toronto at the moment. I want his autograph. Do the math and get it for me... Please?

Now, I'm not judging but that's getting close to "improper"...

(Pictures from hockeyexpressen)

I'm on my way, on my way to Russia

Cuz they'll be back! And by "they" I mean duo Jaromir Jagr - who already is in Russia scoring some goals - and Michael Nylander, a Capitals center who was in Washington sitting in the crowd. They both played in the less likeable team in New York and Omsk is now trying to get them back together.

Nyls has a deal with Capitals but the GM has said that he's free to go if he wants to. He also said he thinks it's unlikely that Nylander will play in Russia next year. Now, I'm not a hockey player but if I were and I would have to choose between a team in which I see less ice time than Stamkos under Melrose's coaching and a team that apparently really wants me, I would probably go with the later.

Things I didn't expect to see in Hell, Leafs jersey edition

Crappy picture but that really is supposed to be Leafs jersey. I swear.

Back story/free therapy session

I was going to work in the morning, all tired and cranky. Then, when the tram stopped and I was looking out of the window, I saw it. The Leafs jersey. NHL jersey in the window here? How the hell I haven't seen it before??
First I thought I was totally hallucinating, finally lost my mind for good. All this with big smile on my face. Then my brain unfrozen a bit and told me to get my cell and take a picture. At this point some old lady next to me looked me like I was some kind of freak. She might be right actually. But I didn't care. I got my picture. A crappy one but picture nonetheless.

Come and play summer games

Stanley Cup fin... You know what? Hockey season ends to Worlds finals and Russian partys.



Also, Pens did won this minor thing called Stanley Cup. 4-3 series, 2-1 last game. But they won't have these shiny medals. Suck it.

And this is how you score goals. Watch and cry.



Ok, I'm happy for Malkin. And Satan. And I do like Pens. But still... FUUUUUUUCK.

It's silly really when you might lose the Cup

The cat = The Wings
The donuts = The Cup

You'd better get up
and make the city singin'
You'd better get up
before you break some major law
You're takin' a walk
an' hear distant screamin'
or is it just the octopi flyin'?
You know you've been thru this before
They're itching your cup
They're itching the cup

So, after the Saturday night massacre in Detroit, the Wings could've brought the Cup home on Tuesday night in Pittsburgh but they decided to make it all exciting and bad for blood pressure by not wanting to play and losing 2-1. Now, Pens are young and hungry but seriously Detroit, you've won it before, act like that. You've been then, nothing new.

Come to think about it
it's silly really
When you're thinkin' about it
even less you seem to know
Come to think about it
it's silly really
When you fumble about it
even less you seem to know
It's so silly silly silly
so silly silly silly

It has been all about Hossa and the young & hungry kiddos vs. old & infirm men with experience. First of all - even though I think Hossa looked better in black - he was a rental player. He didn't played years with Pens and then tell them that "you know what, I'm gonna go to Detroit, see ya in finals suckers". Second of all, they're not that old. And Pens are kinda old too. They're older than me anyways.

You'd better get up
and get somethin' goin'
You'd better get up
because your mind might get misled
It's all a mistake
unless i'm much mistaken
You got to get up
and get that loss out of your head
it's movin' right into your lead
right into your lead
right into your lead

The point of this mess? Stop the suckfest and repeat the massacre. Please? You're making the octopis so very sad by losing...



Per Gessle, I love you and your songs. I'm really sorry for destroying one of them.

Dirty dancing... Because I can

Enjoy...

Please don't sue me.

I always say how I don't need you...

But it's always gonna come right back to this.
Please don't lose.

Pens 4 - Wings 2 (Pens tied series to 2-2)

I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many time I've kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?

Making fun of Swedes and hating the hockey players is one of my dearest hobbies. And I've said some not so friendly things. Actually a lot.... And yelled at TV when you play too well. But I really want Wings to win the Cup this time.

I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is broken

And after 2 home win, teh mighty team of flying octopis lose to Pens twice in row in Pittsburgh. And I'm feeling the pain again. The pain usually caused by Finland. Now, since I don't need another tainted relationship in my life, should I be taking back my love?
And Malkin... I really like him but all the goals and passes are not exactly helping Wings.

I cannot be without, you're my perfect little punching bag

I'm begging, win the next 2 games. Please?

What you mean too many men on the ice?

We all know, there can't be too many men... Never.

Ok, maybe sometimes.

Nevertheless, the Pens won important home game 4-2 and the series is now 2-1 for Detroit. I'm not saying they couldn't have won without some help from refs, but I'm sure it didn't hurt them either.

Swedes to rescue. Almost.

Zäta scored and had an assist as did Franzen and Kron Wall of Pain had an assists.

Darren Helm, Billy Elliot of hockey

Know your Wings - Swedish Pain Edition

Hockey has never killed anyone, suddenly collapsing with Kron Wall of Pain... That's what gets you.
- Jeremy Clarkson*

Let's start with my unholy Swedish crush, Mr. Henrik "Zäta" Zetterberg. Or as he's known among Detroit Swedes, Mr. Swedish Beckham.

VS.

I guess there's something similar... Except that one has won Stanley Cup. And can grow a beard. And fight...

Anyways, Zäta has been scoring them goals and has 19 points with lovely +12. Suck it Mr. LA Galaxy run away.

Next up, for all you S/M lovers, your Kron Wall of Pain.

Lady in the right corner. Don't pretend, you know you like him...


Nicklas Kronwall, defenseman and life destroyer. 7 points, +5 and one Havlak sent to next season thusfar.

Two down, one to go. Last but not least, Fabio! No, not that Fabio.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jonathan Ericsson. I have no idea why they call the poor guy as Fabio. He looks so cute and everything... +10 and 6 points to him nevertheless.




*Not to be taken literally.