Just beat it

You better run, you better do what you can
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man
You wanna be tough, better do what you can
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

The good, the bad and the hot is stuck with Western Conference and cabbie beating. Needless to say, it wishes quick return to East coast where hockey players fight on the ice and mobs off the ice.

CENTRAL

Chicago Blackhawks

The good

• They play in freakishly cold Helsinki
• Hossa. You broke my heart....
• The ghost of Bulin Wall
  

The bad

• Beating cabbies
• Goalie situation
  

The hot

• Winning Stanley cap
  

Columbus Blue Jackets

The good

• Filatov
• Nash
• Having a young goalie with good head
• Tyutin? Please...?
  

The bad

• The mascot. That thing is seriously scary looking.
  

The hot

• Filatov?
  

Detroit Red Wings

The good

• You see those blingy rings?
  
• The mighty Swede power
• Ability to grow a magnificent playoff beards
  

The bad

• Bertuzzi
• Losing the finals.
• Bertuzzi
  

The hot

• Zäta
  

Nashville Predators

The good

• Distant memory of Radulov and Foppa.
  
• A nutjob Canadian isn't relocating the team
  

The bad

• People keep forgetting the existence of team in question-
  

The hot

• The logo. No? Here, have some vodka, it'll get better.
  

St. Louis Blues

The good

• Kariya
• Who am I kidding? I know absolutely nothing about this team. Likely won't be in playoffs but hey, who knows.
  

I don't want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
hanging out the passenger side
of his Blackberry ride
trying to holler at me

I don't want no scrubs either and therefor we have now 5 lovely teams... well, 4 lovely teams to preview. The good, the bad and the hot is back with strong keep the Yotes in the dessert message.

PACIFIC

Anaheim Ducks

The good

• Selänne & Koivu
• Getzlaf
• George Parros
• Good team with potential and experiment
• Baby ducks are cute
  

The bad

• There can't be anything bad with team including Selänne & Koivu
  

The hot

• The mustaches
• The reunite of Finnish power duo. I hear Stanley Cup. And Olympic gold! And alarm... dammit.
  

Dallas Stars

The good

• Brunnström
• Louis Eriksson
  
• Won't be in playoffs
  

The bad

• Texas
  

The hot

• Brunnström
  

Los Angeles Kings

The good

• Anzeeeee
• Frolov
• The gotta make the playoffs sometime...
  

The bad

• The sometimes probably isn't this season. I'd like to be wrong
  

The hot

• Slovenian puck handling
  

Phoenix Coyotes

The good

• They still exist!
• Bryz! For the sake of my fantasy team, have a killer season, please?
  
• Bye bye Wayne. Seriously, as a player he was good. As a coach? It didn't impress me much.
  

The bad

• The unsure future
• The thread of evil Canadian man with Blackberry heart
  

The hot

• Weather?

San José Sharks

The good

• The winner of Heatley Saga. If I believe it, it'll happen
• Nabokov
  

The bad

• Playoff choke. You gotta win some games in April too to get the shiny ring. Or then you can get married but that's no fun, is it?
  

The hot

• Goalie goals

Blowing up like dynamite

Blowing up like dynamite,
Blowing up like dynamite,
dah dah dah dynamite!

As much as I wish the Atlantic division (Pens excluded) would been blown away, I assume this won't happen. This sad state of affairs means that they will be fine and playing the upcoming season making my life miserable. The good, the bad and the hot of this failure of hockey divisions.

ATLANTIC

New Jersey Devils

The good

• C'mon, they're Devils, there can't be anything good
  

The bad

• Brian Rolston making over 5 million/year. Seriously?
  

The hot

• Dainius Zubrus
  

New York Islanders

The good

• Pens tanked for years and won SC, why couldn't Isles do the same?
• Tavares, maybe. Meh
  

The bad

• Rick DiPietro is the highest payed player. After Yashin...
• The said Yashin would still be top 6 forward in that team
  

The hot

• The sweet memory of Yashin. Yes, I luved him.
  
• Bergenheim. Gotta give some love to my home.
  

New York Rangers

The good

• Anisimov. Come to Caps babe, would you?
• Avery
• The ghost - and painful memory - of Bure
  

The bad

• Gaborik's groin
• Lundqvist. I can't believe he's still in one piece after all I've done to the King Henrik voodoo doll.
• Marc Staal's fighting ability
  

The hot

• Potentially Gaborik with functional groin

Philadelphia Flyers

The good

• Timonen
• Captain Elbow
  

The bad

• Everything
• Danny Briere - the most untruculence person ever.
  

The hot

• Hiring mentally challenged psycho bitch goalie. No?
  

Pittsburgh Penguins

The good

• Malkin
• Mario's pool
• Free Candy
• I won the Cup bitch
  

The bad

• Nut puching innocent Thrashers.
• Beating Capitals. That was seriously rude.
  

The hot

• Talbot
• Malkin's English
  

God gave me style

I just reach for style, I'm hot I breaks it down
It ain't my fault, you can't break it down the way I break it down

God did gave me style but unfortunately (s)he wasn't as mercy to some of the following teams.
The good, the bad and the hot is back with another 5 teams including one stylish, one smashy and two trashy.

NORTHEAST

Boston Bruins

The good

• Chara Smash
• Lucic, Thomas
  

The bad

• The departure of Axelsson. The sound you hear is some of the Bruins fans crying
• Lack of Russians.
  

The hot

• Destroying people's soul. Right, McCabe?
  

Buffalo Sabres

The good

• The ghost of Numminen and Afinogenov?
• Vanek
  

The bad

• No more Numminen. Or Afinogenov. I'm repeating myself, no?
  

The hot

• The weather I hope in case you ever run to Miller with his icy weapon
  

Montréal Canadiens

The good

• They hopefully won't wear the prison pyjamas this year
• Hobbit line. At least for opponents
  

The bad

• The way they treated Koivu.
  

The hot

• Lil' Tits might be the 2nd best looking Belarussian in NHL
• Totally blowing the anniversary parties! No? Okay then.
  

Ottawa Senators

The good

• Jarkko fucking Ruutu. I don't care what everyone else says, I love that little piece of high quality Finnish shit.
• Kovalev's attitude. Wait... wrong category.
  

The bad

• Now that Heatley is gone, pretty much everything else
• Pink tutus on men. Seriously
  

The hot

• Ruutu
  

Toronto Maple Leafs

The good

• Lots of new, hard (hitting) toys!
• Monster - even if he's stealing the job from Toskala and I likely hate him in February
• Grabbo, Poni, Kaberle
  

The bad

• Not enough Russians
• Pineapples (more like evil though)
  

The hot

• Grabovski
  
• Hats. Ask XLB
• Toskala (& manpurses) - I laaaaaike it a looot
• PPP
  

Foppa to Washington?

At least Bäckström would approve this.

In the article they say that Forsberg's opponent scaring comeback games in Modo jersey have awaken NHL teams' interests and that Capitals are looking for a top center - coughForsbergcough.
They've also asked Bäckström's thoughts and got this: "He would fit in perfect with us."

If Foppa actually in some miracle way ended up landing in Washington, would it mean that Modo will get Nylander?

Baby give me what you got...

Cos I'm everything that she's not.
Love is all I bring,
In my khaki suit and ting.

Okay, I won't bring anything in khaki suit but if you can accept tops and jeans we'll get along just fine. And instead of love I'll try to figure out what the teams will bring to the party this season. That's right, the season is almost here and I have no idea what the heck is going on, so a little preview to the teams is needed. So here's the good, the bad and the hot of the NHL 2009/2010.

SOUTHEAST

Atlanta Thrashers

The good

• Ilya Kovalchuk
• Tobias "Iron face" Enström
• Nik Antropov (shut up, he's good!)
• Pavel "hobobeard" Kubina
  

The bad

• The number of won playoff games. Less might be more but zero is still zero.
• The potential departure of Kovalchuk. Team Russia would be weird if he decided to be still in NHL during the Worlds...
  

The hot

• Valabik's nuts. Just ask Crosby
• Kilts
  

Carolina Hurricanes

The good

• There isn't.
  
• They won't make the playoffs
  

The bad

• Everything
  

The hot

• Tuomo Ruutu. The man has been voted for the hotest Lion (name for Finnish national team, lions) many times. The people has spoke. Sue them.

Florida Panthers

The Good

• Dadonov!
• Vokoun
• They be playing in Helsinki
  
• Did I mention Dadonov?
  

The bad

• The departure of Bouwmeester may effect the defense and not in a pretty way
  

The hot

• Dadonov
• Florida panthers. Okay, they're not as much hot as cute and totally dying out. They need to be saved!
  

Tampa Bay Lightning

The good

• Look at those pretty defensemen! They can actually hold the stick right and skate!
  
• Seriously though, signing Öhlund was actually really good move.
  
• If you keep sucking, you eventually will get some sexy top prospects that will raise the team to new glory. And to the number one object in women's daydreams... Ah, where were we? Hockey? Right...
  
• Vinny & Marty
  

The bad

• The war of gel heads
• Seen Stamkos?
  

The hot

• Viktor "Oh my..." Hedman
• Tokarski

Washington Capitals

The good

• The Russians. Even if Fedorov and Kozlov are gone
• Bäckström
• Goalie prospects coming closer to NHL
  

The bad

• Mike Green making 6 million / year
• Not getting to finals last year. Or even conference finals
• Goalies, potentially
  

The hot

• José Theodore
• The fact that they hopefully will never again wear guyliner
• Semin's moves on the ice and puck handling. Dirrrrtyyyyy
  

Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Hockey ranking fails at life - part due

And should be burnt in hell for ruining the good name of hockey. In this part there'll be 51-100.

51 Cristobal Huet, G
52 Zdeno Chara, D
53 Ryan Miller, G
54 Martin Havlat, RW
55 David Backes, RW
56 Alexei Kovalev, RW
57 Shane Doan, RW
58 Chris Pronger, D
59 David Booth, LW
60 Thomas Vanek, LW

Where does Norris trophy get you these days... Oh,to 52th? Well of course, that makes like sooo much sense. Not. I'm surprised that Captain Elbow isn't higher than that. After all, all the bloody... ehhr, juicy penalty minutes he'll get will earn you tons of points! Successory!!1

61 Tomas Vokoun, G
62 Scott Hartnell, RW
63 Bill Guerin, RW
64 Derek Roy, C
65 Daniel Alfredsson, RW
66 Nicklas Lidstrom, D
67 Ray Whitney, LW
68 Dustin Brown, RW
69 Steve Mason, G
70 Bobby Ryan, RW

I don't care if it's fantasy hockey list or not, there's no way in hell it would ever be ok to put Alfredsson above Lidström in hockey list going from best to worst. What next, a bitch slap to Hockey Gods' faces by saying that Islanders in fact is better team than Red Wings? Jesus Christ people, have some respect.

71 Olli Jokinen, C
72 Ilya Bryzgalov, G
73 Alex Frolov, LW
74 Michael Frolik, LW
75 Ray Emery, G
76 Jamie Langenbrunner, RW
77 Anze Kopitar, C
78 Phil Kessel, LW
79 Brad Boyes, RW
80 Pekka Rinne, G

It is an insult that World Championship goalie from last year is that low. And that Kopitar is behind Mr. Jamie Mylastnameisfreakishlylong. Seriously? Dude had like pathetic 29 goals last season while Kopitar had... (checks stats... oh for christ sakes...) Stats for losers, even I would score 29 goals if I played that many games against Islanders.
I don't quite get why Emery's on the list? Like is one of the categories "how many punches will be landed on innocent staff members" ?

81 David Krejci, C
82 Sheldon Souray, D
83 Scott Niedermayer, D
84 Milan Michalek, RW
85 Ryan Smyth, LW
86 Henrik Sedin, C
87 Kristian Huselius, LW
88 Nikolai Zherdev, RW
89 Jason Pominville, LW
90 Steven Stamkos, C

I still don't totally get how Henrik is that far away from Daniel... They'll be sad if they're separated. Obviously this list it made by Swedephobic with no heart. Seen Stankos lately?

91 Brian Rafalski, D
92 Kris Versteeg, RW
93 Joffrey Lupul, RW
94 Mike Knuble, RW
95 Chris Kunitz, LW
96 Andrei Markov, D
97 Jay Bouwmeester, D
98 Mark Streit, D
99 Alexandre Burrows, RW
100 Travis Zajac, C

For the sake of Capitals, I hope Knuble will do better than that. And Markov on 96th? No Selänne? He damn straight is better than Versteeg.

Confessions of a deniar*

Take a look at yourself
Tell me why keep on denying...

Hi and wellcome to the group therapy. Today's issue is sport events which outcomes you've decided to forget and replace it with false memories.
We all have our favourite sport *coughhockeycough* and our favourite teams and sometimes things just don't go the way you've wished. And if you root for Finland, make that "sometime" never.

I just discovered yesterday - or very early today - that I had done that to the 2006 Olympics. And surprisingly not the the gold game. Which really isn't because of the lack of try. The picture of Swedes celebrating the gold is burnt to my brain.
So instead of deleting that, I changed the result of the bronze game. Apparently I was so devasteted that neither of the medal games ended like I wanted that I had convinced myself of Russia's win. Which means that my life was seriously shattered yesterday when I figured that they in fact lost that game.

I'm afraid to ask but does this mean Finland actually didn't win the Worlds 2007...?

Anyways, I was just wondering whether I'm alone here in need of professional help or is this something normal that other people have gone through too.

*May not be real word. Sue me.

Oh destiny

Rickard Wallin and Jonas Frögren edition. Just because I'm bored.

You didn't think I would waste a chance to publish that picture again, did you?

Anyways, apparently Mr. Wallin and Mr. Frögren went to same sport (high) school, played together in junior team and ended up in Färjestad BK in the same year. I'd say those two lovelies were ment to be in the same NHL team.
And they're also going to be room mates!

The point here? I really don't have one, except that Wallin left to Toronto today so he'll be there soon (or is there already?). And that he's really excited.

And now some old fashion Russia-Finland fist diplomacy.


Tough love...
After some semi suckfest, Russia managed to pull themselves together and took 3-2 win.

Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Hockey ranking fails at life - part uno

And should be burnt in hell for ruining the good name of hockey. In this part there'll be 1-50, 51-100 will come out whenever I've recovered enough from the shock and horror this list caused.

So here's the list

1 Alexander Ovechkin, LW
2 Evgeni Malkin, C
3 Sidney Crosby, C
4 Zach Parise, LW
5 Corey Perry, RW
6 Ryan Getzlaf, C
7 Jeff Carter, C
8 Mike Green, D
9 Jarome Iginla, RW
10 Pavel Datsyuk, C


But of course, Parise, Perry, Carter, Green and Iginla should be over Datsyuk in hockey list. Go Flyers!
Now, I may don't know much about fantasy hockey, but I'm quite sure if you're better on the ice, you're also better in the fantasy league. Please, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

11 Evgeni Nabokov, G
12 Henrik Zetterberg, LW
13 Ilya Kovalchuk, RW
14 Miikka Kiprusoff, G
15 Alexander Semin, LW
16 Rick Nash, LW
17 Marian Gaborik, RW
18 Dion Phaneuf, D
19 Patrick Kane, RW
20 Vincent Lecavalier, C

I love Nabby, but even I realize he's not the best goalie in th NHL. At least not anymore. I'm not quite sold about Kiprusoff either. And Phaneuf? Second best defenseman after Green? Sure...
There's no way in the hell Kovalchuk and Zetterberg shouldn't be in the top 10. Only Don Cherry would put his precious North American kids over those two. And Semin... his talent would place him in top 10 or closer to it, sadly the injuries make him a bit of questionmark. Gaborik has rather similar story.
By the way, 20 Cent shouldn't be that high. After all, this is not a cabbie beating competition.

21 Niklas Backstrom, G
22 Nicklas Backstrom, C
23 Daniel Sedin, LW
24 Martin St. Louis, RW
25 Eric Staal, C
26 Marc Savard, C
27 Mike Richards, C
28 Martin Brodeur, G
29 Dany Heatley, RW
30 Cam Ward, G

Aww... The Bäckström's rule the world. And they even managed to get them right.
That's actually pretty reasonable if we forget the fact that Daniel is 23rd while his brother will enter in the part due. You know, there's a reason why they earn same amount of money. And that Staal would be better than Heatley. Silly list makers.

31 Simon Gagne, LW
32 Henrik Lundqvist, G
33 Jason Spezza, C
34 Michael Cammalleri, C
35 Marian Hossa, RW
36 Jonathan Toews, C
37 Roberto Luongo, G
38 Patrik Elias, LW
39 Dan Boyle, D
40 Chris Osgood, G

So Spezza is better than Hossa? Dan Boyle the 3rd best defenseman in the NHL? Excuse me, I need to take a short break to laugh... Okay, I'm fine n... Lundqvist better than Chris fucking Osgood? One of them has SC and it ain't the Swedish gel head.

41 Tim Thomas, G
42 Joe Thornton, C
43 Patrick Marleau, C
44 Johan Franzen, RW
45 Marc-Andre Fleury, G
46 Devin Setoguchi, RW
47 Marty Turco, G
48 Jason Blake, LW
49 Joe Pavelski, LW
50 Shea Weber, D

Tim Thomas only 41st? Sure. Marty Turco better than 200th? Suuure.


How players like Kopitar, Chara, Lidström, Vanek, Bryzgalov and Markov for example didn't make the top 50, is beyond my understanding. Then again, I'm just simple Finnish girl, what would I know about hockey?