For hope I'd give my everything

Finland was kind enough to announce the names of up coming Olympic winners, aka the Finnish roster, the day I was on a boat. I assume they did this so I would have lots of cheap alcohol near to me to make the pain disappear. This list didn't include many surprises, but the lack of Nummelin makes me sad. It will make me even more sad in February when I have to watch our mighty defense to skate circles in their own defensive zone because they don't know what to do with the puck. Good times.

The goalie factory goodies

Niklas Bäckström, Minnesota Wild

-Solid, solid goalie with national team experience. Apparently gets to play "if there's any games left to play".

Miikka Kiprusoff, Calgary Flames

-The reason for the minimul ice time Bäckström is gonna see.

Antero Niittymäki, Tampa Bay Lightning

-Who would've goessed that moving to Tampa gets you Olympic ticket? This is the one choice that might surprise some but honestly, the experience and the silver from Torino are too much for the kiddos to beat.

The death zone

Lasse Kukkonen, Avangard Omsk (KXЛ)

-Maybe Jagr taught him some tricks?

Sami Lepistö, Phoenix Coyotes

-I like him and all but seriously? I know Nummelin missed the last EHT tournament due to an injury but god dammit he's better than half of these guys even when injured.

Toni Lydman, Buffalo Sabres

-Keep scoring babe and we're good.

Janne Niskala, Frölunda Göteborg (SEL)

-Uhm... Go Frölunda? Remember to send thank you card to Nummelin.

Joni Pitkänen, Carolina Hurricanes

-This would be easier if my religion allowed me to visit Canes' page.
Sami Salo, Vancouver Canucks

-I hope the team remembers to take enough bubble plastic with them.

Kimmo Timonen, Philadelphia Flyers

-Please play in 3 line? Gets to wear "A".

Fire power

Valtteri Filppula, Detroit Red Wings

- Apparently going to play as winger in the Koivu-Ruutu line.
Niklas Hagman, Toronto Maple Leafs

-At least he has first hand experience of losing multiply games in a row for blue&white. This will be handy after few games when he have to share the surviving strategy with his shocked team mates.

Jarkko Immonen, Ak Bars Kazan (KXЛ)

-Because Kazan >>> Canes & Jokinen

Olli Jokinen, Calgary Flames

-Make that goal light dance disco beats.

Niko Kapanen, Ak Bars Kazan (KXЛ)

- (happy dance)
Mikko Koivu, Minnesota Wild

-Taking the #1 center place from his brother and maybe finally get totally out of his shadow.

Saku Koivu, Anaheim Ducks

-Oh Captain, my Captain.

Jere Lehtinen, Dallas Stars

-Play, doesn't play, play, doesn't play... Lehtinen-Koivu-Selänne can be scary if they're all healthy. Sniff.

Antti Miettinen, Minnesota Wild

-Maybe he manage to do something useful. Unlike in my fantasy team.

Ville Peltonen, Dynamo Minsk (KXЛ)

-Has VIP pass to the national team as long as he plays. Killing Swedes comes with sweet price.

Jarkko Ruutu, Ottawa Senators

-You drive me crazy... 90% of people disagree but Ruutu can be very useful when he remembers to be good boy and not to take stupid penalties.

Tuomo Ruutu, Carolina Hurricanes

-Change the NHL team, will ya?
Teemu Selänne, Anaheim Ducks

-Be still my heart. With "A" on your chest. Also, if you could repeat the Torino 2006 domination, I would appreciate it...




Happy New Year!

Kicking Czechs. Like a boss

Juniors

Czech 3 - Finland 4

Czech were all "look at us, we can actually play hockey even though Sweden made us their bitch yesterday" and scored 3 goals while my poor babies only got penalties. Usually, this kinda situation leads to a massacre and total humilitation of Finland. This time? No. Those kiddos channeled their inner Swede and scored 4 goals. And that's all you need to know about today's hockey games.

Also, I went to promise to be nice to them if they won... They're the boss.

Is this the real life?

I checked the Swedish Olympic roster and I didn't immediately feel rage. This is like another universe... Anyways, here's the list of lucky Swedes who gets a chance to get their ass kicked by Russia.

Goalies

Jonas Gustavsson

-Good for you Monster. I shall hate you if you screw Finland.

Stefan Liv

-Bwahahahaha... Vad fan???

Henrik Lundqvist

-Sommartider hej hej

Defense

Tobias Enström

-This makes me happy. Solid Thrashers dman.

Magnus Johansson

-One NHL season shared between Panthers and Hawks.

Niklas Kronwall

-Everyone else better keep that head up in Vancouver, huh?

Nicklas Lidström

-Mr Swedish hockey would like you to know that you ain't gonna score on his turn of duty.

Johnny Oduya

-Was drafted by Capitals

Mattias Öhlund

-Proud four time Babe Patt Trophy winner.

Henrik Tallinder

-Uhm... Looks slightly like Hugh Laurie?

Missing - Alexander Edler. Please, send any information you have about his current location to Sweden's head coach Bengt-Åke Gustafsson. Email addy is im_stupid@tomte.se

Forwards

Daniel Alfredsson

-Go ahead and write it, he guarantees that Sweden will win the Olympic gold

Nicklas Bäckström

-Plz don't make me hate you

Loui Eriksson

-This is exactly what's wrong these new Swedes... I can't even figure out one -one!- thing I hate about you. Or something to make fun of.

Peter Forsberg

-Oh Foppa... Hope you can make it.

Tomas Holmström

- For Sweden I hope you are more useful for them than what you've been to my fantasy team.

Patric Hörnqvist

- "A decent skater with admirable work ethics and good defensive skills." Alrighty then.

Fredrik Modin

-Has the same birthday than I do (though, is much, much older) and therefor is awesome.

Samuel Påhlsson

-World Champion gold away from Triple Gold Club.

Daniel Sedin

-The other part of the magical Swedish twins.

Henrik Sedin

-Got a toonie. Or couple of loonies... I'm confused!

Mattias Weinhandl

-One of the most talented player outside of NHL (Russians excluded, of course...)

Henrik Zetterberg

-Sweden's very own David Beckham. Some say his playoff beard is a living thing with own soul. All we know is that he be scorin them goals.



Good luck and see ya in bronze game

Kiddos turn to start digging some gold

I have heard that these Juniors Worlds are kinda important in the other side of ocean. In my side, they're barely on TV (I think I get mostly the crappy games including Finland). Though, Swedes are somewhat obsessed with the Worlds. Mostly because they haven't won it in ages. I almost feel sorry for the poor babies. Anyways, here's some of the players* I would follow if I saw the games.

Russia

Nikita Filatov

This one doesn't need much explanations, does it? Last year he was the captain and definitely one of the most talented player in the tournament.

Dmitri Orlov

Capitals 2009 2nd round draft pick who is currently 3rd in points among dmen in his team Metallurg Novogustnesk.

Vladimir Tarasenko

Young promise who just had his 18th birthday is third in points in Sibir Novosibirsk (10+8, +10) with average 12 minutes of icetime/game.

Finland

Mikael Granlund (C)

The kid has been said to be Finland's most talented juniors for years - which obviously doesn't require too much... Seriously though, if he turns out to be as good as is expected, he's gonna score some goals in NHL. But since he's born in 1992 they still have plenty of time to ruin him.
Also, he plays for HIFK.

Jere Sallinen (LW)

Should be strong and able to actually use his size. Team player.

Toni Rajala (LW)

Playes in WHL (Brandon) and is 7th in points among rookies with 14+16 in 29 games.

Aleksi Laakso (D)

Plays in Finnish Elite League and leads his team dmen in points and gets average 19 minutes of icetime/game. Good PP player.

Sweden

Jacob Markström (G)

Remember him? I thought you might... Anyways, this young master with balance issues is his team (Brynäs IF) number 1 goalie in Swedish Elite League and has done fairly good job holding league's second best SV% with 92,41 (somewhere, The Vesa is jealous) and has 3 SO win (3rd most in the league).

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (D)

Coyotes' 1st round pick this year, plays in 2nd highest level in Sweden with Leksands IF. Number one dman in the team and has scored 5+7 points during this season.

Adam Larsson (D)

Offensive dman with good puck controll. Ability to make some nasty passses.

David Rundblad (D)

St. Louis Blues' 1st round pick this year, gets lots of responsible in his team. Good passer. Mighty be too eager to leave the defensive zone at times.

Tim Erixon (D)

Third super young gun from Skellefteå AIK in the national team (with Larsson and Rundblad)., Flames 1st round pick in last draft. Like his teammates, gets much of icetime and usually uses it wisely.

Jacob Josefsson (F)

Devils' 1st round pick in 2009, apparently able to play both center and wing. Good puck controll and defensive play. Is playing his second season in Swedish Elite League.

Marcus Johansson (F)

Capitals' 1st round pick in 2009 (did they even draft anyone elses than Swedes in the 1st round??). Also playing his 2nd season in SEL. Good skater and good puck control, reacts quickly to changes in the middle of the game.

Carl Klingberg (F)

Thrashers' 2nd round pick 2009, good hands and uses his size.

Czech

Michal Jordan (D)

Hurricanes' 4th round pick in 2008, plays currently in OHL (Plymouth Whalers). Offensive dman, able to create the game.

Jan Kana (F)

Not the biggest guy in the rink but can take it rough.

Andrej Nestrasil (F)

Wings' 3rd round pick in 2009, able to read the game well.


*The whole team Sweden is ridiculously talented, Russia has always skill players and I didn't find Slovakia's roster immediately so they should feel ashamed. But I'm sure they have at least few notable player. For example Richard Panik and Janus.

It's party time!

The Earth is moving but I can't feel the ground

So Russia announced it's Olympic roster and KOVALEV ISN'T IN THE TEAM BABY!
Okay, now that I got that under the way, let's go to the business.

Goalies

Ilya Bryzgalov
Evgeni Nabokov
Semyon Varlamov

How did I do: I picked Bryz and Nabby to the team as sure thing (shocking, I know) but thought Varlamov would've been left out in favour of Eremenko. Live and learn I guess. 2 out 3 ain't that bad...

How will they do: As mentioned previously, both Bryz and Nabby have experience about kicking Canada's ass in the final so they should be ready take that gold back to motherland. Varlamov is bit of question mark in my books and I suspect that he won't be seeing much ice time if the other 2 are not injured.

Defense

Sergei Gonchar
Denis Grebeshkov
Dmitri Kalinin
Konstantin Korneev
Andrei Markov
Ilya Nikulin
Fedor Tyutin
Anton Vonchenkov

How did I do: I totally cheated and only picked 5 dmen and got 4 of them correct. Sorry, Proshkin. You're fired.

How will the do: Gonchar and Markov are counted as good defensemen even in North America but I think Russia's defense is underrated. Sure it did suck in the 90s and in the beginning of this millenium but it was more about bad attitude and selfisness than poor skills. If they remember to focus on defending at times - and I'm quite sure Bykov will make them to remember - defense really shouldn't be issue.

Fire power

Maxim Afinogenov (RW)
Pavel Datsyuk (C)
Sergei Fedorov (C)
Ilya Kovalchuk (LW)
Viktor Kozlov (C)
Evgeni Malkin (C)
Alexei Morozov (RW)
Alexander Ovechkin (LW)
Alexander Radulov (RW)
Alexander Semin (RW/LW)
Danis Zaripov (LW)
Sergei Zinoviev (C)

How did I do: I got 8 out 9 forwards right and am still stunned that Tereschenko isn't in the team. But I'm not complaining about Fedorov being there. Or Kozlov. Not much at least.
I'm really happy that Afinogenov got a chance to play in Vancouver after finding the touch the play again in Atlanta.

How will they do: Opponent goalies should be having nightmares about now because that's one sick roster and is about to give attitude adjustment to everyone disagreeing. They had to left out people that would've been much wellcomed to many other teams. If everyone plays like they can and Ovechkin & Malkin won't be trying to kill each others, there's literally nothing to prevent them from scoring disgusting amount of beauty goals.

He is simply the best

All I want for Christmas

You and your boring wishes make Santa drink...

Christmas is getting closer and like usually, I got my mind on gifts. That is the reason Christmas is celebrated, right? To heal the economy. No? Sheit... Anyways, as a totally confused Finnish/Russian spy I managed to steal...ehr, borrow some of the letters sent to Santa this year.

Vesa Toskala - Magic glove. And Monster trap.

Detroit Red Wings - Healthy, functional player. Preferably, many of those

Carolina Hurricanes - Points. Lots and lots of points (Santa, you can skip this wish, screw Canes)

Montreal Canadiens - Get out of the jail. Wait no... Oh right, they already got Markov back, moving on...

Patrick Kane - 20 cents

NY Rangers - Gaborik clones. With stronger groins.

Team Finland - Selänne & Koivu from 2006

Don Cherry - Your grandma's curtains to wear

Sweden - The effing Juniors gold, for Christ sake

Me: Olympic gold to Finland! Or Russia. Both works. And some cash to fly to Toronto to visit Hall of Fame. And to see Caps game...

All I want just for me, underneath my Christmas tree... Oh Johnny


Merry Christmas to everyone :)

Scary moments in Sweden, classy fans

Martin Gerber with neck injury wasn't the only hockey player to go through tough times yesterday. In Sweden, in Allsvenskan (2nd highest level) Niklas Lihagen's heart stopped during the game.
While one of the refs was trying to resuscitate him, the opposite fans were yelling "Let him die". It's always nice to see clasy people...

As fas as I know, mr. Lihagen is doing relatively good now, mostly thanks to the ref.
Who knew that teh zebras can be useful?

Picture from hockeybladet.se

I want your horror

Capitals 3 - Leafs 6

Okay Vesa, I've tried to be nice to you, not totally throw you under the bus when you sucked and wished you would get your groove on. However, I didn't wish that you would START TO EFFING SCREW THE CAPITALS! Not cool. At all.
Can we get Varlamov back? And please, please tell me that Caps won't be playing against Leafs or Sabres anytime soon?

Hobbits 3 - Thrashers 4

Atlanta hockey > Quebec hockey. Suck it.

Playing with fire... ehr, hot chocolate

Say hello to Nichlas Torp...

The poor HV 71 dman is a sad panda because he has first-degree burn. Because he managed to spill hot chocolate over himself. And yes, I'm quite sure I didn't mistranslate that.

I have never felt pain like that in my entire life.

I'm sure you haven't.

As a lovely person I'd like to give few advices to avoid accidents like this in future. First of all, mugs are dangerous. ALWAYS use a thermos bottle. With straw.
Secondly, never ever drink anything hot unless you're wearing a fireproof outfit (pictured on the right).
Or then just hire someone to get the drinks for you and hold them while you drink.


Anyways, Ovechkin is back, Caps win and Bäckström has shown some magical signs of life after bit quiet streak.

Also, Finns goalies continue to screw my fantasy team. This time it was Toskala's turn. The Vesa decided to have monster game against Thrashers aka half of my fantasy team. Thanks babe.

And now something completely different.


Seriously, WTF? I'm slightly scared...

Happy Independence Day my beloved country - Finland's way to hockey world

As everyone should know, my pretty, little truculent home country dumped Russia in 1917 (6th of December) after the motherland turned out to be in mentally unbalanced condition - you know, revolution can affect you like that - and since mr. Lenin was slightly busy with killing people and getting the power to himself, he was kind enough to approve this (31st of December). That of course didn't stop the commies to get involved with our civil war party...

Anyways, to an honour of my -at times failing - country and the memory of the Winter War (70 years "anniversary"), here's brief history of small country fighting its way to the top and some of the best hockey moments of Finland.

• 1899 the hockey game is first played in Helsinki


• 1928 first club competition, first national team game (8-1 for Sweden, yay...)


• 1933 first national team game abroad (Sweden wins 11-1. It keeps getting better... ehr, worse)


• 1937 first national team win, 2-1 over mighty Estonia


• 1949 first wins at Worlds, 7-3 over Norway and 17-2 over Belgium


• 1952 first Olympics (Oslo), 7th place


• 1959 first win over Sweden (in Finland), 4-1


• 1962 first medal; Euro championship silver


• 1965 Finland has its first Worlds in Tampere


• 1968 first win over Canada 5-2


• 1975 Finnish Elite League (SM-liiga) was founded


• 1976 Matti Hagman (also known as the father of Leafs' Niklas Hagman) was the first Finn to leave to North America to play in NHL


• 1978 Finland wins U18 Euro championship with Jari Kurri's OT goal against Soviet Union


• 1982 Pekka Rautakallio first Finn to play in NHL All-Star game


• 1983 official Elite League for ladies


• 1984 Jari Kurri becomes the first Finn to win Stanley Cup


• 1985 Kurri wins second SC and gets Lady Bing Throphy, Tikkanen gets SC ring too


• 1987 Sidney Crosby was born Finland wins first World championship, U20 team rocks. Stanley Cup win for Kurri and Tikkanen.
  


• 1988 first Olympic medal, silver in Calgary. Stanley Cup win for Kurri and Tikkanen.


• 1989 I was born! Wait no, that wasn't it... Oh right, the ladies bring the gold home from Euro champ


• 1990 Kurri, Tikkanen and Ruotsalainen win Stanley Cup. Men, it's getting tired to type that...


• 1991 3rd place in Canada Cup, ladies get another gold from Euro champ


• 1992 first medal from men's Worlds (silver)


• 1993 Selänne makes new point record for rookies (76+56=132) and gets the Calder. Kurri become the first European to score over 500 goals and over 100 playoff goals.


• 1994 Olympic bronze and silver from Worlds, Stanley Cup for Tikkanen


• 1995 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BABY! IN SWEDEN AND THE FINAL WAS AGAINST SWEDEN! AND THEY HAD ALREADY MADE A CHAMPIONSHIP SONG FOR THEMSELVES...


• 1996 Kurri becomes the first European to score over 600 goals.


• 1997 Finland wins the first Euro Hockey Tour, Urpo Ylönen named to IIHF Hall of Fame.


• 1998 Olympic bronze for both men's and women's team, Bure scores 5 goals against Finland, also the born of Selänne&Koivu. Second World championship for Juniors. Lehtinen wins Selke Trophy. Pekka Marjamäki named to IIHF Hall of Fame.
  


• 1999 Saku Koivu becomes the first European captain for Montréal Canadiens. Lehtinen wins the Stanley Cup and other Selke Trophy. U18 team wins Worlds. 3 other Finns named to IIHF Hall of Fame


• 2000 Alpo Suhonen becomes the first European head coach in NHL (Blackhawks). Kurri named to IIHF Hall of Fame. Another championship for U18 team (I really wish we would win in the real Worlds too...)


• 2001 Kurri becomes to first Finn in Hockey Hall of Fame. Ville Nieminen wins the Stanley Cup with Avs. Lots of silver medals from various competitions


• 2002 300th national team game for Raimo "Raipe" Helminen with over 200 points and 6 Olympic tournament. Kari Lehtonen was drafted 2nd overall (sorry Atlanta). Belarus beats Sweden in Salt Lake City Olympics with the help of Tommy Salo.


• 2003 Finland helds the Worlds for the 6th time and celebrates this by blowing 5-1 lead against Sweden, my hate for Sundin achieves notable levels. 5th Euro Hockey Tour win. Selke Trophy comes back to home to Lehtinen


• 2004 Canada screws Finland in Canada Cup final in Toronto, last Kipper sightning in national team. More medals for ladies and juniors.


• 2006 Sweden totally robs Finland in Olympic final despite Finns had been way better through the whole tournament, my hate for Sundin achieves epic levels, leading to minor explotition and sleza smash. Bronze from Worlds with 5-0 win over Canada. Teppo Numminen passes Kurri as the most regular season games played European, Selänne gets Bill Masterson Trophy.


• 2007 Finland repeats the miracle from Torino Olympics and sends Russia to the bronze game. Sadly, Finland also repeats the outcome of the mentioned Olympics by losing to Canada 2-4. Rick Nash joins Sundin in my "players I love" list. SELÄNNE WINS THE STANLEY CUP!!


• 2008 Finland demolishes Sweden 4-0 at Worlds bronze game. Filppula gets the Stanley Cup.


• 2009 Numminen retires, leaves huge hole to Finland's blue line.

Despite all my bitching about how this country sucks and how the hockey team does nothing but makes me cry, I'm proud of what this country did during World War II, fighting against an enemy much bigger and meaner, managing to stay independent and balancing between west and east for 5 decades.

And the hockey team? Considering where we started, it's almost a miracle we have had that much success as we have. We don't have the population of Canada, Soviet Union/Russia and USA. Not even the population of Sweden and Czechs. We haven't had the peaceful enviroment to develop our systems like most of the countries mentioned. We didn't have strick army based team of Soviet Union. Yet those people quite literally cleared their way from forests to hockey rinks, turning from 3rd World hockey country into a part of the Big 7 and a well known goalie factory. And of course, we gave the world Kurri and Selänne.

Thanks for the memories. Tears or medals, I will always you

Olympic Jersey fun - the good & the ugly

As the Olympics are getting closer, the official Olympic jerseys have been published. Some of the jerseys are all business and out of touch while some of them would make Project Runway judges cry.
Also, everyone has a captain with #2 in the jersey... I wasn't aware there was "2" in Morozov's number.

TI AMO

Finland

Never liked the blue jerseys, liking it even less with the red flavour. No one told them that Soviet Union is long gone, no need to kiss their ass anymore...
Half time: Burn it!


Now this is what it should be like. Sharp, fresh, minimalizing the damages caused by the new lion logo. This looks like potential silver medalist! No, seriously, it's the jersey if they wanna win.
Final: 2nd place all the way for this and 3rd place for team effort. Though, in real life, the retro jerseys will kill the last changes we had...

Slovakia

I knew there was a reason for me to like Slovakia. Well, other than Satan... Blue-red-white is a bitchin combination and they have used just the right shade of blue. Very much unlike Finland.
Half time: I still like you even if you keep sucking

Yes... The white does the magic again. Watching this beauty of a jersey, you will forget that Gaborik is about to pull his groin and that Chara just ate your baby for a breakfast.

Final: 2nd place and special mention for still being in Olympics...

Russia

Red is the colour my heart. Red is the colour of my blood. Red is the colour of my future Ferrari. Red is the colour of my number one team - failing kitties excluded, of course. And red is the colour of winners.
Half time: Be still my heart

Mmmm... There's something about white. So fresh and stylish, so full of win. I can totally picture Morozov getting the gold wearing this. And more importantly, I can picture myself wearing that.
Final: 1st place and double gold for Russia for having 2 great jerseys. Finland, take notes.

(You got that) Boom Boom

Belarus

Getting bit of Hungary vibes from the white one but otherwise it should be pleasant to watch Grabbo demolishing opponents (and/or the Tits brothers) in those jerseys.

Latvia

Even though a Latvian caused the biggest national catastrophe to Finland since Stalin decided to send his army to a holiday here, I still like that. Cool pic, country name in Latvian. If only they would play as good as that jersey looks.

Gives you hell

Sweden

This here makes baby Jesus cry. And pretty much everyone else with functional eyes too. That's honestly more hideous than Henry's hand goal.
And why there's #6 in the other sleeve and #2 in the other?



Pictures from IIHF

World can be scary place

That's dead/knee injured Ovechkin.
Yes, it is okay to shed tears and go to find vodka

I'm getting a bit sick and tired of all these injuries Russians have. Olympic year is so not the year for Russian machines to break dammit.